As I get closer to the finish line, I am starting to feel ready to impart advice. I needed to feel a sense of accomplishment and success before even attempting to provide guidance to anyone else interested in undergoing this process, a journey really, of designing and building a home. Before embarking on this endeavor, I received a lot of guidance, and some warnings, about building a house. While some were positive, many cautioned me on depleted budgets, strained marriages, shoddy work and soured relations with builders.
I am happy to say that so far, knock on grade 2 wood (I still get to throw in some of my new terminology), things have run incredibly smoothly. Much of this is because of the great work of the building contractor and the subs. But part of the success to date has come from my own contributions and attitude. I credit this to four key stages:
- Meditate
- Educate
- Anticipate
- Communicate
Meditate: Looking inward is an important first step when you want to design and build a house. You need to know yourself, not only in terms of what you want, but truly understanding what you are capable of. Do you really know enough to act as general contractor for your own house or should you hire a professional builder? Do you want to select everything yourself, or will you want a lot of counsel from experts? What type of relationship do you want with your building team? What core need is the house building process and outcome fulfilling?
For people who are building as a shared endeavor between a couple, I recommend even more of this discovery phase. I am fortunate in that my husband did not want to be much involved in the process or decision making. But when there are two people deeply involved, then they need to really explore not only their tastes, but their priorities and values. You need to map out the decision making course and determine what is important to whom.
Educate: After you know yourself, then you can learn about all of the approaches and options out there. I spent a lot of time perusing books, looking through magazines, visiting other people’s homes, and just plain thinking — about what I wanted, what was important to me, how we live and how we want to live in the house. I even took a home building course at the local community college to learn some of the fundamentals and terminology. This helped me feel more empowered when selecting a builder.
Anticipate: I understand that many houses go over budget because the customer makes changes throughout the process. I recommend doing most of the planning up front to save time, money and stress down the road. And don’t be afraid to make changes in the planning phase. That is what it is for! Also, try to stay one step ahead of the building process. Ask the builder what the next decisions will be and do your homework beforehand. You don’t want to feel rushed in picking your plumbing fixtures or tile because that is what the schedule demands.
Communicate: Building a home is a team effort. Whether you are acting as general contractor orchestrating a fleet of subs, or working with a full-service building team, you are a critical communications filter. It is important to understand the best way to communicate with everyone. From my professional background, I am a heavy email user. Yet I discovered that some of the design and building team were too busy in the field to respond to emails in a timely way. So I resorted more to phone calls at key times. I have also enjoyed communicating with many of the workers on the job. I unleashed my rusty Spanglish on many an unsuspecting worker. I engaged with the various tradesmen and learned a tremendous amount. I tried to show my gratitude as often as I could.
There are many other facets to the building process and its success. But by following these four principles, you will be better prepared to handle the contours of the process and emerge with your sanity and wallet intact.